The single greatest misconception about vampires is the notion they can't appreciate a good joke. So begins The Vampire Patrons, a comedic look into the dysfunctional lives of four vampires, all siblings, living in a modern-day world where vampires, werewolves, the undead, and human beings work and live side by side, tolerating each other as best they can. But all is not what it seems when a series of brutal maulings grips the city and the four find themselves piecing together a murder mystery over their weekly dinners together at a second-rate diner - that is, when they're not busy arguing amongst themselves.
The Vampire Patrons is a short novella. At about 100 pages, it took me an hour and a half to read. I was a little confused at first about The Blood Laws, such as what they were and how they worked. It turns out, they are explained in the middle of the book, and have no relevance to the story whatsoever. I think it would have made a lot more sense to put in a couple sentences about the laws in the beginning, instead of an interlude in the middle of the story. Freddie was my favorite character. His costumes and attitude were quite entertaining and made me laugh several times. There were a couple funny moments in the book, such as when the main character was pulling pranks at the office. The epilogue of the novella left me thoroughly confused. The murderer was never figured out, even though the reader was certain who it was at the end of the story. At this time, it is not clear if the author is going to create a sequel to The Vampire Patrons. If he does create a sequel, my rating of the novella will probably change. I recommend The Vampire Patrons to someone with a couple hours to kill.
I give The Vampire Patrons: 2/5.
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I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review, and was in no way compensated for this review.